Since I've been on here due to lack of interest but I am back!
And this girl can't waiiit for Christmas!
Best time of year <3
Saturday, December 18, 2010
It's been months..
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Me?
I'm scared of everything.
I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am
& most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you.
<3
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Bored..
So I found some jokes that I think are hilarioussss
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
TOP TEN THINGS WOMEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP AND HAD A PENIS FOR A DAY...
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9......
TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX.....
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you so me.
6. It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
5. Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the morning after.
1. You can do the whole neighborhood.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Holy Fuck..
I want a bean bag chair..
I had one when I was little and now I want one again..
They never get old.. just like blow up couches/chairs.
Fucking amazing.
YEP want one, getting one. That's that.
Uh I want this one..
it even has memory foam in it.
what a glorious thing.
TFLN
Probably the best site I have EVER been on.
I laugh every time.
Definitely a day brightener!
(413):
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
(405):
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
(513):
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
(703):
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
BEST SITE
Monday, April 26, 2010
Deviant Art ; Summer
I love, love, loooove this site.
So many wicked photographers and artists.
Amaaaazing pictures.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Word Association
Seduction
TRUE Love
Lust
Sex Appeal
Desire
Legs
Man
Woman
Child
Let Go
Believe
Trust
See
Heels
Curves
Baby Belly
Day 1: Operation; Get thin
Helloooo healthy eating and exercise.
Summer bod, here I come.
Ugh.
You will be the death of me..
Friday, April 23, 2010
BRILLIANT! Made For Me.
THE PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____ day
of __________, 2006, by _______________________, between ____________ and ______________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over -- unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM -- we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit -- only mind-blowing sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions -- Ex.: Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? The answer is no,
so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance -- that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-oftown,
then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts excepted -- money is always good.
8. No baby talk -- however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers -- it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" -- we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK -- don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing -- I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex -- it's over, so get your ass up and go home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it -- I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend"
17. Doggie style preferred -- just hit it hard and right or get the hell out!
18. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better. I don't want to look at you, just fuck you.
19. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME -- so don't keep calling.
20. The most important one -- no condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.
21. Bring your own drink -- I am not your liquor store.
22. No phone use, please -- don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
*** EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS***
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party
attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void
and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and
email list. BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
Participating Party Signature_______________________________________
Date:________________
Participating Party Signature_______________________________________
Date:________________
Phone#________________________________________________
Address:_______________________________________________________________________
THE BEST FUCKING THING EVER WRITTEN
I would use this.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
hmm..
Loving someone's gonna hurt,
And the sooner you let yourself feel that..
The sooner you'll be able to love again.
Ugh, hmmm..
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
My Life As Liz
Amazing Fucking Show.
I'm completely addicted.
And LOOOOOVE Liz.
"I can't believe I waste so much time and brain power on a guy.. who couldn't find his balls.. if you dangled them in front of him" - Liz
I REALLY Suggest You Watch This Show.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
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